It’s amazing what can happen in six months. 6 months ago today, nearly at this very time, an amazing little person entered my life. He looked something like this:
I didn’t know what it would be like to have 2 children. I wondered if it would be possible to love a new baby as much as I loved Frog. I didn’t know what it’d feel like to start over, after 10 years to have a baby again. I didn’t know what it would feel like to have boys who were half-brothers. I didn’t know how it would feel to have a maternity leave, and what’d I do when I needed to go back to work. Monkey arrived in this world, so wanted, so loved, but filled with so many “what if’s.”
Today Monkey got his picture taken again, and here he is:
Now that we’ve been a family of 4 for half a year, I’ve gotten a few answers to my questions. First, and most importantly– Yes! I can love another child as much as I love Frog, and continue to love Frog just as much as before. I really didn’t know if it was possible to love that completely again. (Mothers out there, you know what I mean, right? Loving a child is like having your heart and soul live outside your body.) I don’t love the boys in the same way, but I couldn’t ever tell you who I loved more. Loving two children equally really wasn’t something that I was sure would work. It does, and that makes me feel better. MM says that he thinks that every parent has a “favorite” child, but I can’t speak to that. Frog and Monkey are so different in age, that I can’t really favor one over the other. The other thing that is so interesting is that even though I compare the two boys to one another, they are so very different from each other, but at the same time, Monkey reminds me so much of Frog. I see Frog in Monkey, even though they are half-brothers. That makes me so happy.
Being a mom of a newborn/infant comes back to you– thank goodness! It’s easier the second time, but Monkey is a much easier baby than Frog. (Are second born’s always easier?) I’m also more acutely aware of how brief babyhood is, and how precious every moment, ever giggle, and every toothless grin is. I want to hang on to them.
Today is bittersweet. Those first, brand new baby days are over, but I’m so in love with the baby that I have to snuggle with. He is a wonderful little Monkey. I am so bless and lucky to have him. If you asked me 2 years ago if I’d have this home full of my wonderful boys (all 4 of them, including Buster), I would have had a hard time believing you.
Happy Half Birthday Sweet Little Monkey. I love you lots and lots and lots…